in defense of the fambily.

I will never understand why people actually believe such bullshit. I have a brother who's the best person I know, and is the single reason both myself and his husband are in one piece at this very moment. How can anyone possibly believe a psycho slutbag like Lily Aultman about anything is beyond me. No one is perfect, but Julian Jonsson (Julian LAINE, actually) has grown up more in the past few months than I could have ever imagined possible, and he's pretty fucking close. He's an amazing dad already, and he's so full of love, I am not sure how his sweater vests aren't bursting at the seams. My favourite boy is now a man, and he's a stand up one at that - any baby would be lucky to have him as an uncle, a cousin, a friend... and the very luckiest get him as a Daddy. No one in their right mind is gonna take that away from this little boy.


Sit down, bitch, you're not going to win. Keep your mouth shut before we slap you with a gag order.

And Froggy? You know I wasn't going to keep quiet on this, so shhh. I love you, and I thank my stars that we've got you. We wouldn't be us without you. You're amazing. Keep your chin up baby.

Aunty Bunny, round 4!

Claire Violet Cahill, welcome to this crazy world and even crazier fambily!

We love you to squishy tiny pieces already, and are glad you look like your Mummy! And rest assured - your big sister Shelby will get over you being cute and tiny and stealing all her attention and love you better than anyone. I yelled that my favourite was ugly too!

Love,

Aunty Bunny

The Festival of Boris isn't soon enough, so the impatient Naughty Sorceress is throwing a party of her own. She's in Sydney tonight, and has brought some friends with her.

I hear Sneaky Pete is invited. Don't tell.

Encore!

Take Two.

Tonight begins a new way of life, and while cameras will still be following close it will be of my own volition for once, and I'll have my two favourite people in the entire universe with me all the while. The former arrangements with MTV fell through (needless to say, I should imagine) but I managed to add my dear brothers into the mix and work out a new deal. So the three of us, come late summer (likely they want to coincide things with both the Olympics, and Soundwave's yet to be scheduled North American release and tour - because they are going to blow up thanks to this show - around the same timeframe), will be all over MTV. I personally hope we turn vegemite sandwiches into a new trend.

One of the perks I've just recently discovered via my business manager? MTV is going to foot the bill for my birthday party, meaning I don't have to lift either a finger or gold card and it'll probably be the biggest party I've yet been to - other than those hall-wide uni parties I used to follow August to, although that's an entirely different scene altogether. I just send a list of what I want and they will have it all done up just how I like it. I haven't yet decided on any of it, I'm waiting for August to get here so I can consult him on the matter. May 3rd though; keep your calendars clear. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this.

I've yet to find a house, but again with August arriving tomorrow, I will consult him (he's my personal life coach, basically) and in his all-knowing ways he will yay or nay what I have seen thus far and point me in the right direction. Or he will just find something perfect for me while Alfie and I spar on the streets of Bel Air, Matrix style, and get ourselves booted from the neighbourhood before we're even officially in.

There are plenty more ridiculously crazy plans Alfie and I have made, but for the sake of spoilers and potential criminal implications, I had best not reveal them all here. I will however apologize endlessly to Soundwave fans for getting my Bug tied up a bit longer and the tour inevitably postponed even further, however I am certain MTV Australia will pick this up for you all and it'll be worth it - we'll let them air our No Diggity dance and it'll definitely be worth it.

You haven't seen anything until you've seen Alfie Isaac Laine dropping it like it's hot.

I've been meaning to make an update here for a few days now, about the trials and all, but honestly? I've been far too ecstatic and focused on nothing but swimming for the past little while. I got off to a rocky start, but as has been reported extensively, I've managed to make a pretty sweet comeback. I am still only five hours past my last race, where another record was set - how did I do that? - and am still at the top of an incredible adrelenine rush. I am also in complete shock and awe of myself, and I can't do much except sit here and ask my mum to pinch me over and over. I haven't woken up yet, and even my littlest brother whacking me in the arm didn't snap me out of this dream, nor did Alfie pulling my hair, so I guess... I guess this truly is my reality. Wow.

My times -
100m free: 52.88 (WR)
50m free: 23.97 (WR)

I've discounted the relay times, because they don't really count anyway - a new relay team will be formed as need be while the teams work out. I likely won't be on one - might be an alternate - as I'm returning to LA as planned, at least for a little while. I can't imagine the national coaches will let me stay away past June, even if I vow to keep up my training regime. Regardless, I think I've slightly changed my outlook on all of this, and suddenly I am seventeen again and my passion for this sport is at it's peak. No longer am I jaded and tired and irritated with the expectations and press. I've proven them all wrong, and I'm free to once again swim for swimming's sake alone. I've missed this.

Cheesy or not, I've got to thank my family and friends for all their support, from the stands and around the world. There are far too many to list, but the strongest voices I've gotten encouragement from: August, Alfie, Aly and Nick, Mum, Asher, Ainsley and Kevin and the kids, Dad and even you Abram; Jayda, Brady, Bailey, Peyton; Shaylee and her bitches, and all the young swimmers who still believe I am something to asipre to; everyone who's thought for a fleeting second that I might stand a chance - Thank you. I know I did this on my own, but I couldn't have done it without knowing you all believed in me.

Now it's time to party.

Love,
Aubrey

Dear Sydney,


Tonight (15 March) there is going to be a show at The Forum. Sneaky Pete is playing, and while you probably have never heard of them, as an early fan of their work I highly reccomend you all go - I promise you won't regret it. Also, I won't be the only Laine there, though I'm sure I'll be the cutest.

See you all tonight - and beware of Decepticons.


Love,
Aubrey